The peril of a pregnant black woman

Marilyne Ebu, a member of our Perinatal Mental Health Service's Diverse Mum's Group, shares two poems about race, culture, and motherhood for Black History Month.

The peril of a pregnant black woman

The concept of strong and black is inseparable
A stereotype almost impossible to unwind
The idea of being sick and weak frowned upon
The conditions of marriage as a cultural must. Yes indeed, a cultural must
A taboo not to be. An embarrassment and failure to be a single mother
Yes black and bleak the sad story of a black woman
Cooking, cleaning, working as a continuous expectation. Weakness and sickness very much frowned upon
Oh depression, anxiety,  mental health?? What is that?? Oh my, very much non-existent.
A topic so very much avoided. Humiliation and insults when mentioned.
Pregnancy and mental health equals minus black.
The idea of taking anti sick medication as an aid to morning sickness a very much no no.
Denial of illnesses such as hyperemesis, pre-eclampsia as recognisable illness during pregnancy is a common. Why??
The notion that pregnancy is not a sickness often echoed. Yes predominantly in the black community. Yes sad. Very much sad.
But although sad
The strength from trials and stereotypes maximises will power and value in a black woman. It distinguishes and highlights the indomitable strength blacks have faced in all areas throughout centuries.
It highlights the notion of “with every hardship comes a reward” happiness beyond comparison.
But
Blackness comes with community. One like no other. Where strangers and neighbours partake in the upbringing of your child. A community of oneness. To be proud of truly.

Lone black woman in a surrounded community

I suffer constantly because I have faith in you
I suffer constantly because I try to see the good in you.
I suffer constantly because you feed me empty hope
I suffer constantly because I am surrounded with many but I feel and see none
I suffer constantly because I express myself
I suffer constantly because I try to put me first
I suffer constantly because I am vulnerable
I suffer constantly because I exist
I suffer constantly because I am seen as competition
I suffer constantly because I am not acknowledged
I suffer constantly because your words are not genuine
I suffer constantly because I don’t know how to move on
I suffer constantly because I attach myself to that one good deed, that one good word
I suffer constantly because I believe you
I suffer constantly because I allow cost to outweigh the benefit
I suffer constantly because I allow myself to be humiliated time and time again
I suffer constantly because I want to be seen, to be cared for, to be loved
I suffer constantly because I seek the truth
I suffer constantly because I call out injustice
I suffer constantly because I am being permanently branded as the bad seed
I suffer constantly because your blood
I suffer constantly because you are family
And that’s why,
My blackness will never be white.