This Can Happen to Anyone: NHS worker shares impact of losing a colleague to suicide
When Steve Taylor lost a colleague to suicide in 2021 – someone he describes as “a rock” – the shock rippled through his NHS team, a group dedicated to supporting people with suicidal thoughts. The experience showed him, more than ever, that suicide can touch anyone, even those working hardest to prevent it. Now, with the Baton of Hope arriving in Leeds on World Suicide Prevention Day (10 September), Steve is determined to honour his colleague and share a message of hope and awareness.
At the time Steve worked as a Care Coordinator and Occupational Therapist at Leeds and York Partnership NHS Foundation Trust (LYPFT).
“Our team worked daily in a clinical setting with people struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts and a wide range of mental health conditions across Leeds. So losing a colleague in that way was something I never expected.
I had a fantastic working relationship with him; we shared a lot of laughs at work, that’s how we got by. I remember the day vividly. None of us had any idea he was struggling. He was always early for meetings and smartly dressed, even on our Zoom calls during the pandemic. When he didn’t turn up for his shift, that’s when I knew something was wrong.”
Steve recalls how his manager in the service broke the news to the team: “They dealt with it professionally while keeping the service running. When my boss had to tell us, it absolutely ripped her apart. But we had to pull together to cope whilst still doing the day job.”
With the symbolic Baton of Hope representing mental wellbeing visiting Leeds on 10 September as part of a special UK-wide tour promoting suicide prevention, Steve feels it’s a poignant moment to remember his colleague and to share an important message with anyone struggling with their mental health. He will be carrying the Baton on its route past LYPFT’s Becklin Centre.
“That team has since disbanded, but I wanted to do this to remember him, and to raise awareness on behalf of my old colleagues.”
A new perspective
“Before this happened, I thought I understood the impact of suicide. But I didn’t. Only in the aftermath did I realise the hole that somebody leaves when they take their own life, and how deeply it affects those around them. Many of the people I supported wanted to end their lives and often said no one would miss them if they did. My experience gave me a new perspective on that and I could use that in my work.
I’ve been left confused about how this could happen to someone so compassionate and with such an understanding of people. It really highlights that this can happen to anyone, from any walk of life.
Literally anybody can suffer with suicidal thoughts. My colleague worked daily to help others with their thoughts. That he wasn’t able to reach out and get the help he needed is something I’ll probably never come to terms with.”
Reach out if you’re struggling
“In any clinical team working with people in crisis, you’re often supporting people who have told others they are suicidal, have attempted to take their own life, or are seeking help because of self-harm. That’s an opportunity for health and care workers to intervene and provide support.
But we will only ever win the battle against suicide if people reach out before reaching that breaking point.
Without reaching out, there’s no opportunity to gain another perspective. Including others in your thought process can make all the difference. The message ‘it’s good to talk’ is important, but my message is also: ‘be in a position to listen’. Be open when others offer another perspective.
When you do, you’ll hear two things: that you are not alone, and that there are other options – another way of thinking about your situation. I can guarantee you haven’t thought of everything, and this isn’t the only way forward.”
The impact on the team
The tragedy had a devastating impact on a team already under pressure, with rising caseloads linked to the Covid-19 pandemic.
“It was incredibly difficult to continue supporting people with suicidal thoughts every day while also grieving for a colleague. NHS staff aren’t infallible – the pressures of dealing with people struggling day in, day out, were immense, and events like this really leave their mark.
We talk to people struggling every day, but we’re also human beings with our own emotions. As a team, we understood what each of us was going through. I’m so thankful we pulled together when it was tough.”
That’s why staff wellbeing support across the NHS is so important. One such initiative at LYPFT is the Critical Incident Staff Support Pathway (CrISSP), an intervention where trained facilitators support staff who have been involved in potentially traumatic or stressful events at work. Over 1000 staff members have been supported by CrISSP since 2022.
Judith Barnes, LYPFT’s People Wellbeing Lead, explains:
“People working in caring professions are often expected – and expect of themselves – to be self-reliant and cope in the face of emotionally challenging work. It is often assumed that they will be less susceptible to trauma. In reality, the opposite is often true.
If left unaddressed, the impact of these challenges can have long-term effects on individuals, teams, and even the care provided. Coming together as a team to share experiences and support one another can be really helpful in moving forward.”
Moving forward
The experience left a lasting mark on Steve, who has since moved jobs and now works in the Digital Data and Technology team.
“I could use my new perspective to support people better. It really motivated me, as I had first-hand experience of the impact of suicide. Ultimately, though, the huge mark it left on me was a catalyst in my decision to move on. My experience adds a lot of meaning to the work I do now, and shows just how important our work in the NHS is.”
Support and resources
West Yorkshire Suicide Prevention – Get the support you need in Leeds
Will you become a West Yorkshire Suicide Prevention Champion?
Leeds and York Partnership NHS Foundation trust – Urgent Help
The mental health website for Leeds, Mindwell, also contains a range of support and resources.
Samaritans – We’re waiting for your call
The Baton of Hope – information about the Leeds leg on the Mindwell website
Baton of Hope: Full details as tour arrives in Leeds on World Suicide Prevention Day – news article on Leeds.gov.uk
Page last updated: 8th Sep 2025 11:10am